Jumat, 21 Juni 2013

Random Things

I desperately want to write but don't have specific thing to tell :) So here are random things crossed in mind:

- Lagi bosen ke dokter. Udah 3 bulan ini libur ketemu dokter .. don't wanna push myself too hard and lead me to stressful infertil woman. I just wanna be happy with what I have, worry less, enjoying life. Btw, sumami ngajak ketemu sama "seseorang" sabtu ini.. well, karena dia yg arrange semuanya, dia yang nyetir, have no complaint.

- Waktu di Singapore 2 hari sempet makan 3 menu dari negara berbeda, Laksa Singapore, Padthai, dan Bimbimbap. Aaah... eike cinta sama foodcourtnya singapore. Di satu tempat kita bisa pilih menu dari berbagai macam belahan dunia, dan enak semuaaaa.. padahal harganya dibawah 50K IDR. Pengen balik lagi sama sumami, soon...plesiran with no itinerary.

 - Speak about makeup, you'll need not only a good one but also good tools !! Beli kuas-kuasnya MAC adalah investasi makeup terbaik di tahun 2013 :D

- Nyesel banget gak beli Laura Mercier foundation dan malah beli MAC waktu di Sephora. Judulnya karena terharu nemuin sales MAC yg baik, gak kaya disini. Hih. Benci tapi butuh.

- Selesai baca Me Before You - Jojo Moyes. Hasil rekomendasi dari Goodreads. A heart warming book, taught me not to see life as if it's only black and white. Definitely a page turner, udah lama deh kayanya gak baca buku kesurupan kaya gini . Siapin tissue yang banyak :')

- Lagi suka make jilbab model turban, tapi belom berani dipake ke kantor. Level cuek masih dibawah rata-rata.

- Hampir 2 bulan gak nonton film korea dan beli langsung 3 series. Hey, welcome sleepless nights! Terus ya, karena mulai nonton drama2 korea lagi, playlist korea di kantor pun jadi lumayan sering berkumandang (lagi). Ternyata korelasinya positif.

- Jatuh cinta sama lagu-lagunya Big Baby Driver & Vanilla Acoustic. Iye, ini masih korea.








Rabu, 15 Mei 2013

Time flew in May

Cepet banget waktu berlalu di bulan Mei ini, tau-tau udah tanggal 15 aja.
Highlight of this month adalah banyak banget travel yang berhubungan sama kantor daaan banyak banget kawinan di akhir Mei - awal Juni.

Wiken ini harus ke Jogja karena gathering (oh how much I wanna skip this trip), wiken depan harus ke Batam... and I'm happy...karena apa? karena mau nyebrang ke sinjiapoh..hoorah.
Sumami gimana sumami? dia sih approve2 aja, ga ada keberatan2nya acan..sampe kadang2 mikir, ini sumami pernah takut istrinya kabur gak sih?
Trus..trus...tanggal 31, tanggal 1, dan tanggal 2 ada acara nikahan sepupu dan besties...kebayang wiken tanpa istirahat. Fyuuuh.

Enihooo...ngapain sih pake nyebrang ke Sinjiapoh?
Tentu saja buat belanjaaaaaaaaaaaa...muahahaha...
Udah ngelist nih pengen beli apa aja, running equipment, make up (sephora beybeh), H&M, dan uniqlo is a must!!!

Kali ini ga ada culinary and landmark visit, murni shopping. wohooo!!!


Minggu, 05 Mei 2013

Infertility

I copied this from here ..
Infertility, one word that I never imagine happen to me.
Sometimes it shattered me into pieces, but I (still) learn to accept it.
To live my life to the fullest with dearie husband..travel around the world..cherish our love.. never lose hope. 4 years and counting.

 

Ten words that describe infertility

 
Two weeks ago, I wrote a post about the hilarious and exasperating journey of parenting small children. But for seven harrowing years of infertility, Mary and I would have given anything to have children, no matter how hard it was.
Here are ten words I would use to describe how infertility feels:

1. Lonely. We saw couple after couple get pregnant before us, our best friends included. When they told us, we high-fived them, then we went home, and hardly knew what to say to each other. We felt lost, sad, and even lonelier than before. We were excited for them; we were just very sad for us.
It’s okay to go home and cry your eyes out when your friends get pregnant.

2. Exposed. Everybody wants to give you advice, and some people say incredibly stupid things. My favorite: “You just need to stop trying so hard!” Some people want to know every excruciating detail of what you’re doing to get pregnant. Suddenly, your most private details are the subject of casual conversation. Once people know you’re trying, people want to know how it’s going, if you’ve done artificial insemination, if you’d consider IVF, and how it felt in that small white room with the gross leather chair & the bad magazines.
It’s okay to avoid the question, smile, and change the subject. Keep as many things private as you can (except to a few trusted friends).

3. On Hold. We were always checking the calendar, wondering if we should plan that vacation, or that work trip, because what if we’re pregnant? Then we stopped doing that, because we would have never lived if we would have scheduled everything around a “what if.”
It’s okay to miss a month or two; you have to live your life. This is hard, but over the long haul, it will create more stress if you feel so trapped that you can’t plan anything. We even found that it’s good to take a month off now and then.

4. Invaded. For women, there are so many things entering your body (probes, needles, drugs) and so many people measuring your progress. Even sex, at the mercy of a calendar or a temperature reading, can feel invasive. The loss of control can almost merge into a loss of self. But, it feels like once you’ve started down this road, there’s no stopping until you get pregnant.
It’s okay to say what you need, and it’s okay to shore up your boundaries in whatever ways you can.

5. Awkward. During one of the first visits where I was given the small cup and ceremoniously ushered into the small room, I actually ran into some people from my church afterwards. Of course they had their baby with them. I had a small cup that contained very personal contents with me. They asked, “What are you doing here?” I mean, what do you say?
It’s okay to laugh at yourself sometimes. And when someone catches you with your cup in your hand, that’s all you can do.

6. Angry. Unfair is the password that gets you into the infertility club. Mary tells a story of a friend asking her if she was angry with God. “No!” she blurted. “I’m angry at pregnant women!” She knew this was irrational, but she also knew that it was good for her soul to be honest in safe places. You actually may be angry with God, and you may need to find some safe places to be honest about that.
It’s okay to express the darkness, even the stuff you’re terribly embarrassed about, because it’s good for your soul. But in the right places, with people who can handle it.

7. Stressed. Even though it seems like a stressed out couple is less likely to get pregnant, The American Society for Reproductive Medicine finds that there is no proof stress causes infertility. Besides, trying hard to “not be so stressed about it” never worked for us. It also didn’t help to “just stop trying.” Everybody has a friend who was infertile for 73 years, and the day they stopped trying, they got pregnant. That never happened with us.
It’s okay to be stressed. Don’t stress about your stress. Trying hard not to be stressed is silly.

8. Despair. The cycle of hope and despair with infertility can take you out. I remember getting so excited when Mary was 2 days late, and just knowing that this time, it’s going to happen! Then, a few days or hours later, when she told me she got “it,” I would plunge into despair. The alternative is to temper your hope so that your despair doesn’t get so low. After about a hundred months of experiencing this cycle, we found that the best route is to keep hoping, and if it doesn’t happen, keep crying. It’s too hard to pretend that you’re not excited and that you’re not depressed. Be excited. Be depressed.
It’s okay to hope, and it’s okay to cry. Keep hoping and keep crying.

9. Loss. This was not how it was supposed to be. This was not what you dreamed it would be. And you don’t know how it will end.
It’s okay if you don’t know how to wrap your mind around your emotions. Be gentle with yourself for not totally having control of how you feel from moment to moment.

10. Ambivalence. Every time you have to go through another kind of treatment, you ask yourself: “Is it worth it? Do I really want it that bad?” And then in the very next breath, you are taken out by the sheer magnitude of how much you want a baby.
It’s okay to want and not want. That’s normal.
If you’re struggling with infertility, it can be such a dark time. You have to be out loud with each other about what you need, and every journey will be different. You have to give yourselves permission to do this journey in whatever way makes the most sense for you.
My blessing for you as you struggle: May God give you what you need, when you need it, over and over and over again.

:')
Now you know how I feel about this craziness called trying to conceive.

Selasa, 02 April 2013

My kinda style !!

Berhubung lagi mulai bebenah rumah BSD, mau gak mau jadi mulai browsing2 lagi ide interior design yang caem.

Jangan suruh saya mendeskripsikan gaya interior yang saya suka. Susah!
Untunglah ada Sproost ..tinggal klik2 and true to your heart..then voila...

This is mine..think I should show it to my designer right away.

 

Modern Elegance (43%)

Variety is the spice of life! And nowhere is this truer than in the design of your home... You either love contemporary but wish it wasn't quite so cold and austere; or perhaps you've always been drawn to more traditional rooms but are now at a point in your life where you'd like to pair down a bit or want to create a less cluttered and busy space. Transitional Style is here to marry those apparent contradicting designs. And guess what — it's the contradictions that make the mix of contemporary and traditional so successful. The result is an elegant room that appeals to young and old alike. A sofa with modern lines blends seamlessly with a pair of traditional chairs. New fabrics work so well on antique pieces. It turns out that modern art looks even more exciting above a collection of traditional pieces. The room feels simple and sophisticated, elegant and hip.

Materials
The material palette for Transitional Style is a wonderful mix as well. Wood tones add warmth to the more modern finishes such as metal and glass. Fabrics are usually neutral and focus more on texture rather than pattern or color. Because you are mixing two very different styles, simplicity is key. Carpets are often Berber in natural tones, though area rugs can bring in color much like a modern piece of art would. Window treatments, when used, are simple in style as well as color and many times you will see natural roman shades or wood blinds used. Satin nickel, chrome and stainless are very popular and can modernize an otherwise traditional space. On the flip side, when the room feels more contemporary vintage golds and wrought iron will tame and add warmth to the space.
Colors
For color think simple. Remember that you have set out to create an eclectic mix of two styles and the best way to avoid making the room overbearing is to stay subtle on the walls and ceiling. Whites and creams are popular and grays, taupe's and tans are darker versions of neutrals that work very well. The simplicity in the color helps keep the space feeling light, airy and fresh. If you'd like to add deeper color choosing one accent wall is a nice way to do so. Or add depth by bringing color in at the accessory level. The best part about colorful accessories is that you can easily reinvent the space by simply changing the throw pillows to highlight your new favorite color.          

Zen Style (43%)

Goodbye clutter, hello clean! However in Zen Style, unlike some other contemporary design, the consistent level of natural materials keep the spaces from feeling cold and sterile. Zen Style has a nice mix of rustic with chic so that there is an incredible level of ease and sophistication about the space. Plants and greenery are very important in helping achieve the warm and natural feel of the space. When at all possible, natural lighting is used in spaces to help create the openness in the space.

Materials
Natural materials with their calming effects, are very prominent. Indoor water features, natural tatami or sea grass floor coverings are often used on top of wood or natural stone flooring. Bamboo is very popular in its living and dried form, as are dark hardwoods. Floral arrangements are very common and orchids and bonsais are very popular for their simplicity and beauty. With Zen Style, you will often see very clean lined furniture paired with rustic and sometimes ornate antiques (or replicas). However, the key is minimalism so the more ornate pieces are tempered by the lack of nearby items.
Colors
When it comes to color, subtle is key. Shades of gray, brown, green and white are common because of their simplicity and calming nature. Color, or lack there of, is intended to highlight the openness of the space and simplicity of the design. Very often you see light fabric and upholstery paired next to dark hardwoods, and this subtle contrast is enough to provide interest while still remaining subtle.
Space Planning
When it comes to furniture arranging, less is more. And a lot less is even that much more! Think minimal and avoid clutter at all cost. Furniture pieces are usually clean-lined and many times are low to the ground. Intimate spaces are created with furniture groupings as well as carefully placed floor mats and area rugs. You will often see floor cushions for additional or even the main seating.

Cottage Chic (11%)

Who says that cottages can't be modern and chic? Who says that they have to be floral and cheesy? Not you! You love the carefree spirit that the cottage interior inspires, but you are also serious about your appreciation for modern art and hip treasures. You love old and new alike, and love to highlight them all to expose the uniqueness of each. What better way to show off these treasures than with a light background?
Materials
You have a great sense of humor when it comes to design and even like to make fun of the style itself. Which means that you will throw in a toy boat or a vintage life preserver to keep the mood of the place just like the color: light! The fabrics are natural (cottons and linens) and are light in touch. Much of the furniture is wood or wood framed (the lighter the better, think driftwood!) and as long as it's used sparingly or with modern lines, you even throw in a wicker piece here and there.

Colors
Your true inspiration (whether you know it or not) is the sea... the colors found at your favorite beach: white and light beige of the sand, a variety of blues for the ocean and sky, and greens and pale grays of the sea glass... but the key is white! Your space should feel light and airy and give off the mood one has when at the beach: laid back! The key with Cottage Chic is balance; in one corner there could be a rustic wood table that looks like it could have been found rather than made, but it is offset with a modern vase while another corner is adorned with a modern Lucite piece.

Space Planning
The furniture is comfortable and the layout is cozy. The more it encourages intimate gatherings the better! Just watch out for the red wine spills on the new white sofa! The color throughout is light and airy - and though you love to accessorize with fun colors (the sky's the limit with a white background), the main color seen and felt throughout the house is white or very light versions of colors so that they feel almost white.

Rabu, 20 Maret 2013

Dream

I had such a wonderful dream last night.
Me, being pregnant 15 (5?) weeks.

It seems so real that I don't want to wake.

Dear future baby, let's meet each other soon.. Don't you miss us too?


:')

Minggu, 24 Februari 2013

TTC #4

Post laparascopy, sempet disuntik tapros 2 bulan berturut2  utk menghilangkan sel-sel endometriosis secara microscopis. Akibatnya saya gak dapet menstruasi selama .... yak ...157 hari.
Rasanya jangan ditanya deh...harap2 cemas, pengen banget si period ini cepet datang. Alasannya apalagi kalo bukan biar bisa mulai program lagi.

Selama masa penantian tadi saya berusaha hidup sesehat mungkin, olahraga, banyak minum, jaga makanan (walau sering cheating juga sama keripik2 :D), banyak makan sayur dan buah. Alhamdulillah begitu dapet langsung lancar sama seperti period normal saya. Pas kontrol ke dokter untuk minta obat penyubur, USG perut saya menunjukkan ada sisa sel telur yang belum luruh. Duh apalagi ini..

Saya pikir kalo udah dapet menstruasi berarti semua sel telur yg gak dibuahi udah luruh dong ya...nah ini katanya ada yg masih nyisa..saya juga ngeliat jelas sih, ada bulet2 gitu di rahim saya...
Hehehe...akhirnya belum bisa dikasih penyubur dulu. Dikasih obat lagi untuk mecahin si sel telur ini sebelum ketemu si dokter 2 minggu lagi.

Duh Gusti...paringono sabar ...

Meanwhile, Ibu sakit lagi. Gula darahnya tinggi, ditambah ISK dan Tiphoid.. belum lagi ditambah gejala penglihatan buram yg setelah dicek ternyata Katarak level 4.
Sampe sekarang masih di rawat di RS dan diobservasi terus
Kalo banyak baca soal diabetes ini memang menjalarnya kemana2.  dari mulai mata sampai ginjal. Dan yang bisa dilakukan memang harus disiplin jaga pola makan.
Mudah2an Ibu cepet sehat ya ... :')

Somehow, kondisi saya TTC dan kesehatan ibu yang naik turun memicu saya untuk menjalani pola hidup sehat. I know, kalo dibandingin sama vegetarian dan food combiners sejati saya mah masih cemen. Tapi paling gak sekarang saya merhatiin loh apa2 aja yg masuk ke mulut saya. Bahkan saya pake aplikasi Calorie Counter untuk mentrack makanan dan olahraga saya. I'm far from perfect, but I'm working on it. Efeknya, saya masih inget dengan jelas apa yg saya makan 2 hari lalu tanpa dicatat. Kinda creepy sih.

Kalo diinget2, dulu saya males banget makan sayur, salad, dan buah (hanya kalo inget). Sekarang buah adalah menu sarapan saya. Untuk sayur belum bisa diaplikasiin tiap jam makan, tapi sehari pasti sekali makan sayur. Bahkan saya sudah bisa makan salad tanpa mengerenyit.. tentu dengan bantuan sedikit sambel pecel maupun thousand island :D

In the end, umur memang di tangan Tuhan, tapi apakah kita pantas menyia2kan apa yg sudah Dia kasih ke kita? Tentu saja kita tahu, itu tandanya kita tidak bersyukur.

Selasa, 29 Januari 2013

k-drama fever strikes again

Semalem tidur jam 3 pagi gara-gara maraton dvd To The Beautiful You (TTBY), salah satu kdrama yang di adaptasi dari serial Manga - Hana Kimi. Hana Kimi ini sebelumnya juga sudah pernah di adaptasi oleh serial tv Jepang dan Taiwan, jadi TTBY ini ceritanya adalah versi koreanya lah. Latar belakang cerita berkisar di asrama pria SMA yang mayoritas seneng olahraga.

Tuhan pasti moodnya lagi bagus banget pas nyiptain adek2 berondong ini. Hampir sepanjang film kita akan disuguhi oleh pemandangan slim bodies with fierce abs. Huahahahah. *tutup mata*
Beneran deh, jarang banget loh nemu drama korea yang ada laki2 gantengnya lebih dari 2..nah ini rata2 castnya imut2 semuaaaa!!! ciyuus!

Walaupun dari sisi cerita ya gitu deh...namun tetap menghibur. Mengingatkan akan indahnya masa2 sekolah, punya banyak temen cowok, naksir2an... :)
 Hebatnya artis2 "idol" korea, mereka memang dididik dan dipersiapkan untuk menjadi entertainer. Bisa akting, nyanyi, dan atletis adalah syarat mutlak..

TTBY contohnya..main cast cowoknya,  Minho anggota boy band SHINee (baca Shy-nee) sementara ceweknya Sulli anggota girl band F(x). Nah si Minho ini emang jago olahraga aslinya..jadi pas adegan lompat tinggi gak pake stuntman.. *__* Makan apa sih kamu Naaak...

Ditambah dengan tampang kayak gini



siapa yang gak semaput ?

Now...I sound more like tante-tante girang :D


Arrrghh...sekarang tambah nepsong pengen ke Korea..let's dream high for now.

Picture source : southkoreaaddict.blogspot.com , allkpop,

Senin, 28 Januari 2013

Honeymoon #4

Sambil menunggu datangnya si burung bangau ke Kalibata City, daripada bengong, saya dan suami selalu punya ritual jalan2 berdua ke tempat yang belum pernah kita datengin. Biasanya sih setahun cukup sekali, maunya berkali2 tapi kan kata Mbak Wina kalo liburan gak boleh ngutaaaang :D

Sebenernya gak pas juga kalo dijudulin honeymoon karena jenis liburan kita itu liburan yang bikin kaki mau putus, bukan liburan leyeh2 di hotel. Kecuali liburan ke Bali post wedding, liburan lainnya dilakukan on budget tanpa tour dan mengandalkan tiket pesawat promo.
Setahun setelah menikah kami ke Bangkok, kemudian ke Singapura ditahun berikutnya, dan tahun ini kami beruntung bisa mengunjungi Hongkong + Macau.

Suami sebenernya bukan partner ideal saya dalam liburan.
Berkaca dari pengalaman tahun2 sebelumnya, suami ini males banget disuruh browsing2 daerah tujuan liburan. Jadinya apa2 saya yang bikin keputusan, dari mulai tempat nginep, daerah wisata, makanan, sampe nuker uang juga saya. Fiuh.
Suami juga males nanya, jadi begitu nyasar atau melenceng dari Itinerary saya bete beraaaaaaaaaaat. Maunya kan udah saya yg nyiapin semuanya, urusan disana jadi tanggung jawab dia toh? (curhat hihi).
Untungnya suami ini jago baca peta, kalo gak rasanya saya pengen liburan bareng temen2 aja :D

Belajar dari pengalaman berbekal beberapa kali liburan dan  nyusun itinerary sendiri dengan budget terbatas, here are my tips to survive:

1. Tiket promo
Karena wilayah jelajah kami yang masih sangat sedikit, opsi pencarian tiket promo menjadi lebih luas dan terbuka lebar. Beda dengan yang sudah menetapkan tujuan di awal, tentunya upaya pencarian tiket promo akan lebih sulit. Tipsnya, subscribe deh newsletter beberapa maskapai penerbangan supaya tidak ketinggalan jika ada info promo. Keuntungan lainnya, data kita sudah terekam di database sehingga saat mau booking tiket promo bisa lebih cepat prosesnya.

2. Rajin ubek-ubek forum
Beda orang beda preferensi gaya liburan, nah kalau di forum kita bisa ketemu beragam jenis orang. Dari situ kita bisa memilah mana yang sesuai dengan gaya liburan dan budget kita. Orang-orang di forum juga gak pelit kasih informasi detail mengenai tempat belanja favorit, makanan enak, hotel murah, rute transport sampai harga/biaya2nya. Forum favorit saya tentu saja Trip Advisor dan forumnya Female Daily . Taulah kenapa seneng mampir ke FD.. supaya dapet tips belanja :P


3. Google Maps
Sebagai orang yang bego banget Geografi, saya buta kalo ditanya soal arah, apalagi disuruh memvisualisasikan lokasi dari tulisan. My problem solved with the invention of google maps + GPS, Hamdalah. Pertama saya mendaftar semua tempat yang menarik dan potensial utk dikunjungi, termasuk penginapan. Lalu saya cari lokasi tempat2 itu di gmaps, "mark as favorite" deh. Tadaaaaaaa .. now you can visualize location of all those places you want to visit. Dari sana kita bisa milih lokasi penginapan yg dekat dengan transportasi umum dan pusat keramaian. Perkiraan waktu dan jarak tempuh juga lebih akurat sehingga penyusunan itinerary lebih mudah dan feasible..tsaaaah.

4. Budgeting
Dengan dana terbatas tentunya kita ingin memaksimalkan uang yang kita punya. Biaya  yang harus diperhitungkan selama liburan adalah biaya hotel, makan, transportasi, tiket masuk, oleh-oleh, dan belanja. Yang kedua terakhir sih optional tapi wajib buat saya :D
Jangan lupa untuk prepare uang tunai 10% dan walaupun saya gak hobi ngutang, credit card selalu siap sedia. Takutnya ada apa2 disana..besides ratenya kadang2 ga beda jauh sama kalo kita nuker di money changer.

5. Olahraga
Kalo mau traveling murah ya paling pas naik transportasi umum yang artinya harus banyak jalan. Untuk itu kita butuh stamina dan fisik yang kuat. Kalo fisik udah mendukung kita tinggal pilih alas kaki yang nyaman. Kebetulan hampir 2 tahun terakhir saya rutin olahraga, jadi pas jalan2 ke Hk+Macau kemarin gak masalah sama sekali and I need no coun*erpain.

All in all, traveling is something we must do with light heart, open mind, and free soul. Saya selalu mengingatkan diri utk lebih bersyukur diberi kesempatan melihat bagian dunia dengan budaya, bahasa, ras, dan agama yang berbeda-beda. Saya mungkin hanya bagian kecil seperti zarah di dunia ini, jadi kenapa harus sombong?